


Reconnection

by SheepOh



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, Episode: s05e14 In Purgatory's Shadow, Episode: s05e15 By Inferno's Light, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 08:58:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12105222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheepOh/pseuds/SheepOh
Summary: A fic that exposes Garak and Bashir's feelings during In Purgatory's Shadow and By Inferno's Light and shows what happened after those episodes.





	Reconnection

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Moony95](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moony95/gifts).



> Thanks to [WhitePeach](http://archiveofourown.org/users/WhitePeach), who kindly accepted to beta for me even though this is far from her usual fandom.

Worf and Garak are waiting with a crowd of prisoners for "a friend" to be released from isolation. They don't know who it is, only that their fellow cellmates know them. When he comes out, young, boyish, he seems arrogant though he's stumbling. He is dragged out and pushed onto the crowd by the guards. Then, his eyes meet Garak's.

 

''Julian'', he thinks as he sees him for the first time in, well, weeks and thinks that he didn't know he'd missed him, until now. He hadn't known he had been gone, and yet now things are better. Julian had been different these past weeks. He had, literally, not been himself. And though he'd merely left him at the station and fully intended to be back there a soon as possible, it feels like a long separation finally set right. Still, he holds in any hope or joy he might harbour until he has a confirmation that this is really the Julian Bashir he knows and missed.

 

They go back to their dorm, and, once everybody is satisfied that everyone is exactly who they claim to be, Bashir and Garak slip away on an evening walk around the compound, to talk an catch up, though it is Garak that does most of the talking. He's irritated, and rightfully so. He explains the whole misadventure that got him there, from receiving and decoding the message to being caught to landing in the compound. Through it all, his agitation only grows. And through it all he consistently fails to notice Julian trying to lift both of their moods, succeeding only in making his own darken.

 

"My whole life, I've done nothing but try to please that man. I let him mold me, turn me into a mirror image of himself. And how did he repay me? With exile. But I forgave him. And now, here at the end, I thought maybe, just maybe, he could forgive me."

 

"From what I've seen of him in the last month, he doesn't come across as the forgiving type", Julian offers, but it falls on deaf ears.

 

"I was a fool. Let this be a lesson to you, doctor... perhaps the most valuable I can teach you... Sentiment is the greatest weakness of all."

 

"If that's true, then it's a lesson I don't want to learn", he bites. This is more than he can tolerate at the moment and he would comment on it a bit more, but, suddenly, they are interrupted by Martok, bringing news of Tain. Bad news. Garak's features shift and their priority is now somewhere else.

 

 

 

They enter the darkened room and Julian stays on  the bed against the far wall leaving Garak to kneel by his mentor's bed. That way, they can have some sort of privacy.

 

"Elim... Elim is that you?" Tain's eyes move around, trying to find him but evidently fail.

 

"It's me."

 

"Everything's gone dark. I can't see you'', he admits. ''Are you alone?"

 

Garak looks over at Bashir. He seems to be thinking something over as quickly as he can. He's silently asking Julian a question. With one look, they understand each other and he has his answer. He turns back to Tain.

 

"Yes. There's no one here but you and me."

 

"Surjak, Memad, Brun... they can't be trusted. They must be dealt with", he explains urgently. This matters to him.

 

"I've already taken care of it."

 

"What about Gul Vorlem? Have you been able to contact him?"

 

"Years ago."

 

"The Romulan ambassador?"

 

"Gone. All of your enemies are dead.", he says as he turns back to look at Bashir once again. It's clear Garak thinks he is indulging a foolish old man.

 

Tain smiles weakly.

 

"Good. A man shouldn't allow his enemies to outlive him."

 

It's obvious from his expression Garak does not share in Tain's satisfaction.

 

"Then you can die happy", he says bitterly, ''Unless you still consider me an enemy."

 

Tain gives no indication of having heard this comment, but they both know how good he is at ignoring which that does not suit his needs or ambitions.

 

Julian keeps quiet. He is starting to understand just how much he is being witness to, how much of Garak's soul and life he is being allowed to share in. He can't help but lower his eyes, feeling as though he might be intruding by looking.

 

"Elim... promise me one thing."

 

"I'm listening."

 

"Don't die here. Escape. Live...", Tain demands.

 

"Let me guess... So I can make the Dominion pay for what they've done to you", Garak spits back.

 

"You wouldn't deny an old man his revenge, would you?", he asks. His tone is soft, almost teasing.

 

"I'll do as you ask. On one condition. That you don't ask me this favor as a mentor, or a superior officer... but as a father, asking his son."

 

Bashir doesn't register what he has just heard at first but Tain's brutal "You're not my son" confirms he did not mishear. He can't help but sit up and try to get closer to them without moving too much. This explains so much. He now starts to feel guilty about  his grumpiness when Garak was explaining his annoyance earlier with, not only his mentor, but his father. This is something he understands all too well.

 

"Father, you're dying. For once in your life, speak the truth."

 

Tain falters at this. He wants to be as neutral as he always his but his strengths are leaving him. It frustrates him. Can't he die in peace? Hasn't he done enough? Hasn't he given enough to deserve at least this?

 

"I should have killed your mother before you were born. You've always been a weakness I can't afford."

 

"So you've told me. Many times."

 

Julian hears the pain and the desperation letting themselves in Garak's voice and he can feel them as if they were his own.

 

"Enabran, listen to me", Garak continues, "All I ask is that for this moment, let me be your son." Garak is as close to pleading as he knows how.

 

"Elim'', Tain is torn. This is the last time he will ever talk to him but years of carefully built habits are hard to throw away. After a silence, he indulges his son as much as he can. "Remember that day? In the country. You must have been almost five."

 

Tain lets the memory wash over him. He seems to be back at that place, in that moment, to where and when he had a chance to let go of his guards, just for a day. He enjoys it. He had been happy then.

 

"How can I forget it? It was the only day", Garak answers. Regardless of the accusation, he visibly softens. Tain is finally giving in to his wish. He is finally being a father to him.

 

"I can still see you... on the back of that riding hound. You must've fallen off a dozen times. But you never gave up."

 

"I remember limping home.'' He pauses. "You held my hand."

 

Garak has the wonder of a little boy in his voice and in his eyes, the exact same he'd felt then, with some pride mixing in, pride that he'd earned this sign of approval from his father. This is a reward he would never win again, no matter what he did. There would never be any more acknowledgments that he had a father or that he had done anything to warrant pride or congratulations.

 

"I was very proud of you, that day", Tain tells him and it shows in his expression. He is telling the truth, probably for the first time and definitely for the last as he goes completely lax and still.

 

He is gone.

 

Garak registers that he has just lost his father, and his mentor. He is in shock and doesn't quite know how to react as emotions and training war within him. He slowly gets up.

 

"Garak...", Julian tries, worried. He wants to comfort him. He feels his pain but doesn't quite know what he needs.

 

As Garak covers Tain's body with the sheet, Worf and Martok come in.

 

Garak quickly regains his composure and turns to them, Julian joining. "Gentlemen, I don't know about you, but my business here is done", he announces.

 

"Then I suggest we find a way out of here", Worf chimes in.

 

 

 

Garak regrets having shown any expertise with technology as soon as he realises his cellmates expect him to do the repairs himself, but he doesn't even have time to excuse himself from the task that they're called for an announcement.

 

Learning that Cardassians are no longer the enemy lets him hope for just a second that there might be another way out of that dreadful place, but it is short lived. He is cruelly reminded that Cardassia does not want to consider him Cardassian. He is therefore excluded in any advantages his people get.

 

He soon finds himself crawling and working in a dark tight space, trying to focus on his work and not panic. He has to finish this as fast as he can. He can't know for how long he's been in here but it already feels like an eternity.

 

"Garak? How's it coming?", he hears Julian ask him.

 

"I only wish I were still in the Obsidian Order. This would make a wonderful interrogation chamber." A relay sparks at his back, startling him. Again. He's getting cranky. He hates it in there. "Tight quarters, no air, bad lighting, random electric shocks. It's perfect."

 

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself."

 

"If you'd like, I'd happily trade places with you."

 

"I suppose you could give me a crash course in Cardassian field engineering. I'd probably be ready to take over from you in, oh, five or six weeks? "

 

Bashir obviously hasn't heard the panic creeping in Garak's voice but he has no time to correct him as guards come in to get Worf. Not that he would allow himself to show weakness anyway. He can and he will do this.

 

 

 

Bashir is getting impatient as the guard insists on watching Worf fight from the front of their cell door. Garak has been in that cramped space too long. He'll need to get some fresh air by now and update them on the progress he's made. But the guard just won't budge. Until he does. As soon as he gets the all clear he throws himself on the panels to open them.

 

Finally, Garak is out and it seems like it couldn't have been soon enough. He looks shaken.

 

"That... was thoroughly unpleasant.", he exclaims.

 

"Are you all right?", the young doctor asks, but he is already checking for himself. He doesn't like what he finds. He expresses so to Garak and of course, he refuses to give in to his need to rest, choosing to attack and accuse to make his point. It's something Julian is used to by now. He knows he can't make Garak give in, not completely. He never can, but maybe he can limit the damages, compromise.

 

"Rest for five minutes. And from here on in you take a fifteen-minute break every hour. Doctor's orders."

 

He keeps Garak eyes with his own, though he words it as an order, it's also a plea and he manages to get through to him. It's a small victory but it'll have to do.

 

 

It turns out fifteen minutes is an extremely short time, while an hour is an extremely long time.

 

 

He's patching up Worf, trying to reason with him and failing when they all hear it, a thump, then another, and another, and again. It's growing in volume and frequency and immediately Julian's mind goes to Garak. He rushes to the panel and tries to call to him, to ask what's wrong but he doesn't get any answers. He tells him he's free and still he doesn't get any kind of reaction, just the thumping that continues. Increasingly worried, he crawls up inside the wall, right to his sides.

 

It's dark, much darker than it should be.

 

"Garak. Garak, you have to stop. You're making too much noise.", he says softly as he sees him trying to twist around in the cramped space and failing. "Garak, Garak", he tries again.

 

He reaches out to him as best as he can and puts a hand on his shoulder, calming him somewhat. At least, he stops moving.

 

"The light... the light went out.", Garak says brokenly.

 

"I know. Come on. I think you can take your break a little early."

 

Julian guides him out of the crawl space and back into their room. He looks bad. No matter how much he might protest, there's no way he can in good conscience send him back in there. Garak is not simply uncomfortable in there. He's in distress. Julian now feels guilty for having given in before. Maybe he should have stood his ground a little more. He is his doctor. He should be the one who know better. His orders should be final. But then, this is Garak, a man who lives on his own terms.

 

He leads his patient to his bed, takes his vitals. They're erratic. He doesn't like this at all. He helps him lay down and covers him with a blanket, staying there on the edge of the bed, a hand on his back even when he's done doctoring him. He's just there, reassuring, comforting him or maybe he's comforting himself.

 

The two Klingons watch uncomfortably from the other side of the room and after a few moments, Julian realizes they're waiting on him. They need an update. Mentally, he thanks them for allowing them just a few moments in as much privacy as they can get on an internment camp.

 

"It appears he's severely claustrophobic. It's a wonder he lasted as long as he did", he explains walking to them.

 

"Then one of us will have to finish reconfiguring the transmitter", Worf announces.

 

"And who, would you suggest, could do that?", Bashir challenges and nobody answers, "Exactly".

 

He might be a little more irritated than he should be, but he can't help it. He's torn. He objectively knows only Garak can get them out of there, but also knows he doesn't nor shouldn't send him back in that dark, cramped crawlspace.

 

"If Garak can't finish re-aligning the transmitter, we're not going anywhere", Martok adds and as Julian looks at Garak's bundled form on the the bed, he wishes with all his might this wasn't true.

 

Worf is called for more combats and Julian does the best he can for him at the moment. He goes with him so he can treat him as fast as possible were anything to happen.

 

When they come back, Garak hasn't moved. Julian gets to easing Worf's pain and leaves the Cardassian some more time and space.

 

Then they get to talking about finding a new escape plan, and it's as if they had revived Garak with those words.

 

They don't have time to think about it, to weight their options, which are frankly quite limited, that the Cardassian is back to work.

 

Garak, before going in, hears distantly through the fog that's already starting to form in his mind, the Klingon referring to him as a brave man for facing his fears. He hopes they are right.

 

The space is as cramped and warm and he as to stretch to get to some relays but at least, the light works now. He occasionally glares at it, as if it were an enemy, so it knows all the things he could do to it if it dared turn off again. He also uses those moments to take deep breaths and steady his nerves some.

 

It's in one of those moments that he can hear a commotion outside. Someone signals to him to stay still and very quiet. Then he can hear guards talking and moving around.

 

He quickly turns the light off and just a few seconds later he can feel the panels open and air reach him. The guard looking in can't see him and tells the other, in the room, so.

 

Someone fires and then there's fighting and more firing all at once. It's too late. They know. He has to work faster. He has to get everyone out. They might all get killed. Then the noise dies down and he can only hear familiar voices, Julian's amongst them.

 

"Doctor, would you please keep the noise down. I'm trying to work in here", he says, as he keeps working, just to get an answer out of him, to confirm.

 

And he does get his confirmation so he works even faster and harder. They _will_ get out of here alive.

                       

It's only a few minutes more before he succeeds and just like that he finds himself in the runabout rushing to the controls as the others materialize behind him. They're out but there is still no time to lose.

 

No one gets to rest until they reach the station.

 

 

 

It's only late that night that Julian and Garak get to meet again, alone this time, in the latter's quarters.  They hadn't expressly planned to do so. He just shows up. And Garak lets him in without giving it a second thought.

 

"I trust the reunions with your friends went well", he says and Julian scoffs.

 

"You have no idea", he answers bitterly.

 

He comes in, following Garak's gesture to do so, and goes straight for his couch. He dumps himself in it. He is pouting. There is no other word to describe it. He looks like a boy like this. He manages a feat few can, he softens Garak who comes sit next to him.

 

This is all the prompting Julian needs. He grabs a cushion and hugs it to his chest.

 

"Can you believe Miles had the nerve - the nerve! - to insinuate that Changeling imposter was easier to get along with."

 

"No! He didn't!", Garak gasps in exaggerated shock and Julian glares at him.

 

"Are you mocking me?"

 

"Oh, my dear, I wouldn't dare. But it's not exactly uncommon for him to make such remarks about you. He can be quite insensitive."

 

Julian grumbles something that could have been along the line of "I-know-but-would've-been-nice-still-at-least-this-time".

 

"It seems misunderstandings are common these days."

 

Julian turns his head to him and raises his eyebrows inquisitively.

 

"Our dear young Ziyal, threw herself in my arms and kissed me today."

 

"Oh Garak...", Julian laughs.

 

"Indeed."

 

"I could...ask Kira to gently explain things to her if you want. It might make it easier for her too", he proposes still smiling and Garak nods.

 

They both go silent again, now turned to face each other. Julian has loosened his grip on the cushion and is playing with a thread on it. Garak can see a question forming on his face. He looks sad.

 

''There's really nobody who noticed that thing wasn't me?'', he asks, looking up at Garak, and there's nothing that hides the hurt in his eyes.

 

''No.''

 

Julian looks even more hurt and also disappointed. This pangs at Garak's heart. He takes it very personally.

 

''Not even you and your great knowledge of subterfuge?", he asks with a sad smile.

 

''That is not entirely correct. I might not have noticed you had been replaced but I had noticed you were somewhat...different." He pauses. He sees Julian is listening intently, waiting for more. "You had changed in the ways you interacted with me but during our time together I had come to anticipate this change. You see, this change made you act in perfectly normal and logical ways. You were wary of me, distant, and reported suspicious or illegal behaviors, as do your peers. I see now my mistake was to assume you could ever be...ordinary.'' He says that last word as if it is the most distasteful he knows.

 

Julian swallows.

 

"I guess, I've been growing distant, before...before that. It's just - ", he shifts uncomfortably in his seat. This is something he has a hard time talking about, but he owes him this, especially after what they've just been through together. And if this is what will help them finally get closer, and secure, well so be it. "- you haven't been exactly open with me either. You kept pushing me away."

 

"I know. And I understand. I don't blame you. I am not the easiest person to be with."

 

"But out there, and Tain..."

 

Garak sighs, this is hard for him. He has trouble swallowing but finally gets it out.

 

"I owed you this."

 

"You didn't."

 

"I did. Exactly for what you mentioned. You are not just anyone, Julian. It's time I treat you accordingly."

 

Julian smiles at this. Garak just told him he's special. He feels dumb for it but he's pretty damn pleased.

 

Garak returns his smile and extends his arm over the back of the couch. Julian takes this as an invitation to come closer and snuggles up to his side.

 

"I missed you", he says plainly.

 

Garak answers by kissing his forehead. They stay like this for a while, just sitting close together. Until Julian starts squirming again.

 

"Yes?", Garak prompts a tad impatiently.

 

"Can I spend the night here? It's just, my quarters, they don't feel right."

 

"As if another man has been living in them. As is the case."

 

"Yes. It's creepy. And I don't know. I just don't feel..."

 

"Safe. Yes." There's the smallest of beats. "You are always welcome here."

 

Julian lets out a sigh of relief and snakes an arm around Garak's waist, squeezing him. After a few moments of laying against his chests he lifts up his head and looks in his eyes.

 

"Garak."

 

He doesn't answer, just keeps looking in his eyes. Julian lifts his head and kisses him, once quickly then a second time. Garak deepens that second kiss, doesn't let him go an it goes on and on, and somewhere along the way it becomes more kisses and a full on making out session. They don't mind. Until, Julian lowers his lips to Garak's sensitive neck ridge, and bites.

 

"Doctor!", he exclaims and Julian smirks.

 

"We should go to bed."

 

"We should", Garak answers, voice sultry.

 

He gets up and pulls Julian to his feet with him. Together, they go into the bedroom and the door closes behind them in a soft hiss.


End file.
